I’m a big fan of Simon Sinek—his books, “A Bit of Optimism” podcast, his newsletters, and his Ted Talks—OK, I’m a full-on fan girl! The other day, while listening to his interview with Kevin Warren, CEO of the Chicago Bears, I came across a thought-provoking point that really hit home: we seem to have a better relationship with our mobile devices than with the people we love the most. Even our family. Why are we getting our priorities wrong?
Here’s Warren’s and my powerful analogy that resonated with me: we take our devices everywhere. At the end of each day, we make sure they’re charged up and ready to go for tomorrow. But do we put the same care and intention into recharging our relationships? Do we actively check in with our partners, making sure they’re supported and fueled to start the next day with us? Or when we wake up, do we grab our phones to see what happened overnight, before even saying good morning to the person beside us?
And when our devices break or need attention, we don’t hesitate—we clear our calendars, run to the nearest store, and get a replacement as quickly as possible. But if a family member or friend is struggling, are we willing to do the same? Or do we often tell them we’ll catch up “as soon as we’re done with a meeting”?
So, why do we give so much attention to our devices, often more than to the people in our lives who matter most? Here’s my theory:
- The Draw of Instant Gratification: Every notification, message, and like triggers a tiny dopamine hit, making it hard to look away.
- Fear of Missing Out: We’re drawn to check in constantly, thinking something critical might have happened.
- The Ease of Control: Unlike relationships, our devices are easy to control. We choose when to engage and when to disconnect, unlike life, which is messy and can’t be managed with a swipe or a click.
- A Quick Escape: When life is challenging, it’s easy to turn to our screens, avoiding what we might find harder to face in real time.
While these devices offer us convenience and connection, they pull us away from the present-moment experiences that form the foundation of our closest relationships. I’m just as guilty of this, but I’m making a change. I’m setting boundaries and consciously choosing face-to-face moments over screen time. I know that the richness of my close relationships grows when I’m fully present, investing in these moments.
So, let’s all ask ourselves: Isn’t the reward of deeper, real-world connections worth so much more than the grip our devices have on us?
